No matter how much you approach disability with a winning smile, positive attitude and hope, there are always times, for me at least, that feel unfair and upsetting.
I made my way through a pub today, eyes following my every move and whispering. I'm almost used to it now but it affects those around me who are not. I wonder why it's acceptable to stare, whisper and even point at someone just because they are rollin' on wheelz? People often completely stop on the pedestrian pavement when I'm moving towards them, almost as if they are scared I'm going to run in to them at full speed or that I should get a completely free path to walk on like the Queen - again - just 'cos my legs don't work as well as they should. Parents have scolded their children by saying I'll run them over if they don't stop running/walking around/being generally kids. I'm getting kind of sick of people pushing their thoughts and behaviours on to me, when I've got absolutely nothing to do with them or their lives.
Today, two women shouted at a couple to move out of my way. I believed the couple to be Muslim as the woman was wearing a Hijab.
"Get out of the way! Move! Can't you see this woman is obviously disabled? (she jabs her finger towards me) The disrespect in this country is disgusting!"
The couple pushed themselves against the shelves, looking worried. The other women stayed put, taking up most of the aisle I add. The man apologised to me. Twice. He called me madam.
I stopped, flustered and embarrassed. Now everyone was looking at me and expecting me to move. I felt like I had accepted these women's horrible accusations towards the other couple. They made me (and can I just point out I was actually waiting patiently for room to pass through, whilst browsing the cleaning products!) the reason for their thinly veiled racist passive aggressive rant and it was awful.
As the man apologised twice, I apologised too. I said "Thank you, sorry, no no, thanks, sorry..." like an attention-starved pet parrot. I wanted to be brave and tell these women that actually no, I wasn't inconvenienced for waiting a little while to move just because I'm in a wheelchair. That no, I didn't think the couple weren't showing respect by taking position in a laundry aisle in bloody Wilkos whilst they tried to move to another point of the store LIKE WE ALL WERE. But I didn't. I looked at the man and woman as I went past and they looked at me back, all of our eyes tinged with sadness, embarrassment and anger. I feel ashamed for not speaking up and this is something, especially in the society we are living in at the moment, I think is really important. I will be more brave.
As I said earlier, I try to approach my life with an overtone of positivity and happiness. I strive to see the good in people and I try to make the best out of quite a crappy hand myself and my little lovely family have been dealt but I'm sick and tired of people talking for me, taking action for me and assuming I want things that have nothing to do with them.
Now for something to celebrate that positivity I yearn for. Today, myself, my husband and our five year old bought some super soakers. We went into our shared garden after school and had a massive water fight. It didn't matter to anyone that I was in a wheelchair. No one assumed anything for me. We just dowsed each other in as much water and bubbles as possible and it was amazing!
Do you have anything that gets you down, no matter how positive you strive to be? Let me know below.
Meet the veggies *uh!* we're the veggies *uh!* oh, they grow here in my nursery...
My CBeebies posse will have sung that in their heads but for those of you who don't regularly watch Mr Bloom and his crew of tasty chums, (what are you doing with your life?) I apologise.
This week is National Vegetarian Week! A thing I never knew existed until today, which is quite funny to me as two weeks ago, completely oblivious as to what was coming up, I decided to start eating a vegetarian diet.
Why choose veggie?
Personally, the choice to stop eating meat came from many different pathways leading to the same end. I had already started to cut down on meat consumption for a good 4 or so months previous to my big decision. I have a number of systematic conditions that affect how my body react to stuff such as food and digestion and I'd definitely noticed a correlation between feeling ill with gastric issues and syncope and eating a meat-heavy meal. Alongside this I'd recently been reading into the meat trade and feeling more and more like I wanted to really reduce my consumption for ethical and environmental reasons. On top of all of this though, I just wasn't enjoying eating meat any more. It became the part of the meal I looked forward to least or would often throw away entirely, which made me feel even worse as I try to avoid waste as much as possible.
What is there to eat?
I'm lucky enough to enjoy a wide range of non-meat based foods. I love fresh fruit and veg, I still eat dairy products (although this too is something I have cut right down on due to health reactions and ethical reasons) so there are a ton of options available to me. It's a jokey stereotype to think of Linda McCartney foods when thinking of vegetarian meals but they are actually extremely tasty, well balanced meals when you want something quick and easy. This mushroom and spinach burger from the frozen range was amazing. I actually enjoyed a burger with no stomach ache or fainting spells and it was delicious (brioche bun, fillings and sweet potato chips made separately). I have also yet to be disappointed by any meat substitute products - Quorn's Turkey Stuffing Style Slices for example are perfect for a quick sarnie lunch. I can taste no difference at all.
Why don't you go vegan?
This is a question I ask myself a lot. I don't like a lot of things about the dairy trade but I'm not educated enough on the topic to start a debate. I don't like the mentality that drinking cow's milk is completely normal yet breastfeeding is still such a taboo subject. I don't like how the animals are treated not just for their consumables and wearables but for their whole being, things like captive zoos etc. I just know what I feel, and it makes me feel uncomfortable and sad. Dairy also negatively impacts my health through gallbladder issues, so as I said further up I have made a conscious effort to really reduce my dairy consumption. It feels too big of a step for me at the moment mentally to try a full vegan lifestyle but I would never say never. Five years ago I would have never have considered I'd be vegetarian.
Will your children be vegetarian?
It is entirely their choice. I have spoken to both my sons about mine and my husband's decision to eat a vegetarian diet and they are age appropriately aware of why we are doing what we're doing. They have both decided to carry on eating meat for the time being and I will continue to support them in their personal choices. My five year old has been curious and tried a few new things which has been amazing (veggie pasta and meatballs was a roaring success!), anything that gets more veggies into our kids and get them talking about healthy food has got to be a good thing.
Are you partaking in National Vegetarian Week 2017? Do you have a favourite meat-free meal you'd like to share? Drop me a comment below!
Do I really need to say more? It wouldn't be much of a blog if I didn't though!
If you're a parent, chances are you've heard of YouTube and the likes of slime, surprise eggs. the finger family, Stampy, DanTDM and more. So much more. So... much...
My littlest, Sullivan, has autism and one of his calming techniques and deep interests is YouTube. He loves watching his favourite content creators, often watching the same videos each day to the point he can re-create and build on them in his own imaginative play away from screen time. He loves finding new interests and exploring related videos and ideas that sit alongside his favourites. When he's feeling super stressed, these guys online - as repetitive and loud as they can be sometimes - really help my little guy when he's feeling tired or super anxious and also fill him with ideas, conversation starters and positivity.
I suppose it was always going to be a natural progression for him to then want his own channel and to create his own videos. "Sure poppet!" I exclaimed in response to him asking to create a "Let's Play" type video, with an excited enthusiasm that would soon fade and be replaced with exhaustion and desperation.
First came the realisation I had to actually get my crap together to do this. I needed to *gasp* tidy the living room, as no matter where I put Sully and pointed the camera, there was junk. After about 5739275 hours (probs like, 30 minutes) of rearranging I finally found an angle that would work. I then realised, like the good parent I am, that it probably wasn't such a good idea to film him in his pants and put it out for the whole world to see, so I had to convince him into an outfit (Sully wears basic white leggings and a gorgeous hand-made mono cactus t-shirt by the wonderful Molly over at Hey!Moko).
Filming wasn't actually too bad. Our first attempt was scrapped as Sully decided to read every single instruction and text painfully slowly and detailed that came up on screen whilst he was playing. We'd hit 10 minutes of footage and he hasn't even started.
So along came version 2. We had a quick chat about thinking about what others would like to watch, what his audience would find useful and entertaining and what he'd like to see if he were watching. He understood the concepts really well and decided he wanted to complete the Minecraft tutorial level, which meant he could teach people and have fun too.
Filming him as a silent observer and just letting him do what he wanted to do was really eye-opening. He had no worries, no insecurities holding him back like I would do if I were vlogging for the first time, he was just having a complete blast. I decided to let him do exactly what he wanted and then step in to edit the piece into a somewhat watchable video suitable in length and content for YouTube afterwards. This is where the exhaustion and desperation comes in!
Honestly, all props to the content creators who do this every day or even just a few times a month. The dedication, funding and time/energy that goes into creating a basic video is pretty immense. I'm a perfectionist so it erks me how wobbly the video is, the fact I can't fix the cracks in sound where I accidentally move a finger over the mic, that I can't for the life of me make an animated intro or outro without signing my cash and life away to a monthly subscription I'm not even sure I'd use, not to mention the lengthy rendering and upload times. I'm pretty computer literate and was able to make original images myself with my graphic design knowledge and it was STILL all really hard.
I was determined to do it though, as tucked up in bed was my little 5 year old who's dream it has been for about a year now to have his very own YouTube channel. He really wanted to be a part of the thing that has helped him so much in so many ways and I was going to make that happen for him. And boy am I glad he was tucked up in bed by this point, as sitting in a sweaty heap with a migraine in head, Gin in hand desperately willing my movie maker animation to work with my free dubstep-style sting was definitely not one of my highlights as a parent or role model.
We did it though and you know what? I think we might do more! YouTube gets a ton of negative press with screen time being blanket labelled as bad for kids and sadly some content creators abusing their position and making inappropriate videos tailored directly to children filled with their favourite characters being violent or sexual. There's no condoning that at all but with parental guidance and protection, it can be such a creative place to help flourish and grow young minds.
If you have a YouTube account and like his video or channel, a 'thumbs up' or subscribe would mean the world to him. Let us know if there's anything specifically you'd like to see us create!
Tiny toes tiptoeing their way into the small of my back. Little fingers winding their way into my tied hair. A sweet and hot flush of breath on the nape of my neck which turns into a deep yawn. "I love you mama" he says in his sleep.
Gentle snores and flickering lids hypnotise me closer to my own slumber, as I watch him dream. I squash into the plushy blue hedgehog who shares our space each night and I sigh, tired and weary from a great, yet hard, day.
There are days I long for his bedtime. There are points where I reach my absolute limits. But each time it's my turn to roll my bones to bed I can't help but feel so full of love. Those tiny toes instinctively reach for my back again. His fingers, spreading out to find a lock of mine to twirl, and once more, I'm at peace.
My mum is pretty much my best friend. We speak every day and talk about practically everything in each other's lives. She's still my mum first and foremost though and she still, with me approaching 36 years old, tells me off.
The thing she tells me off most for is overdoing it, pushing myself physically more than I should and as much as it frustrates me, I totally understand why she does it. I'm exactly the same with my own boys (and get glared at regularly for it!). The second biggest thing she tells me off for is for putting pressure on myself to always do more, be more, achieve more.
This may sound like she's trying to stop me reaching my full potential but really it's the exact opposite. I have this thing, this feeling, that has followed me through life. I've always wanted to please people and do the very best for them. It makes me SO happy to see others enjoying themselves, feeling loved and special. doing amazing things, having fantastic and unique experiences. When I had my children and found the love of my life, this feeling intensified and it became really destructive for me. During my firstborn's early years I had just enough money to get by but was in a pretty dire financial mess. I was in a flat I hated because of my external surroundings (noise, drugs, violence, infestation etc) and I had no spare money, no real nearby friends or any other means for fun activities, trips out or treats - physically I was already starting to struggle with pain and severe fatigue which made everything feel ten times harder. Every half term and summer holiday became a nightmare for me as alongside the sheer joy of having my son home with me (I've never been one to wish the holidays away due to stress, the total opposite!) I was constantly thinking and worrying that I was failing him as I couldn't give him the experiences and things I wanted to. I'd get angry, self-destructive, frustrated and upset and here's where my mum would step in and tell me off.
She'd tell me it's the little things that matter. She'd tell me the love and support of a mum like me would be enough for my son. That being responsive to my son's emotional needs and being a good role model for him to look towards would be the making of him. That the games we could play for free, the local parks we could visit, the trips to the shops, fort building and silliness would fill his heart more than fancy trips out, holidays and dining out could do alone. I had no real choice but to accept this. I can't deny the fact that It was still a destructive feeling for me even after chatting with my mum and knowing deep down she was right from an emotional and logical point of view... we all know that money can't buy happiness... that our possessions aren't our life... but it's also fact that these things do make life a little easier and a little more fun.
My financial situation improved a little and along with that, so did my living situation. I had my second son, during the pregnancy and considerably afterwards I became quite ill. The story is spread through other health-related posts in here if you'd like to read back but to cut a long story short, my body broke down on me with hormonal/immune issues and physically through muscles and joints. I was diagnosed with some life-changing stuff and by the time my youngest son was 3 I'd been referred to NHS Wheelchair Services for an electronic power wheelchair to avoid back surgery and further crippling injury. Those feelings of anger, despair and self-loathing came back stronger than ever. I felt a failure for having two children and instead of worrying about holiday activities and days out that I couldn't afford or get to, I was now facing an inability to do basic things like being unable to walk to the shops with them. To bathe them and carry them into bed. To walk into the kitchen to get them a drink or make them dinner. At my worst, my kids dress me into my underwear, trousers and shoes. I felt so strongly that I was letting them down so much in SO many ways, it was devastating to be inside my own head at that point.
Around 18 months ago was my lowest ebb. My mum was there again, to tell me off. This time, I listened harder and stronger than any other time before.
I realised at that point, I don't have to be, nor did I want to be, a supermum. I was forever striving for the things I longed to give my family but in doing so I became less of a person for them as it was so destructive to my mental health. It was never about not being able to give my eldest the things I wanted to give and experience with him. It was about my own negativity and pressures inside my own head. I wanted to be a positive mum. I wanted to be a resourceful mum and a realistic mum. I wanted to be a gentle mum and a happy mum, responsive to my children's needs and truly happy within myself. Approachable about anything and able to make mistakes yet move through them, without hanging on to so much self-hatred. Being able to have bad days and feel low but come out of it stronger or wiser.
I learned that it really is those little things that matter. Letting go. Less pressure. Less negativity. Loving ourselves, so we can love others. Mindfulness. Peace.
Yeah yeah, I'm a big hippy.
I'll always be thankful for my mum telling me off, as without her gentle nudgings and words of advice from her own experiences and feelings, I think I'd still to this day be in a more destructive and less happy place than I am now. I also know I have more telling off's to come in the future as no matter how much I aim to be a zen-like positive person, there are inevitably gonna be issues y'all.
I hope if you're feeling how I've felt in the past, that you can too find a balance and pile up all those little things on one side of the scale to at least balance or over-tip the self-destructive sides to get you into a healthier and happier mindset.
Do I have Autism mummy?
I have to say I wasn't prepared for this question. I didn't even see it coming. I didn't feel awkward about speaking to my 5 and a half year old son about his Autism because of taboo, fear or denial - which are the main things tackled when reading awareness and educational articles... for me it was knowing 'how' to speak about it all with him in terms he can process.
For the most part, my son is blissfully unaware of some of the things he does that people on the outside of our life may look in and see as different. He doesn't read people's emotions or social cues very well, so doesn't tend to see the side looks of confusion often put his way when he reacts to his peer's greetings for example. He doesn't see the desperate look for help directed to me when somebody can't understand what he's frustratingly trying to explain to them, or the bemusement when he has seemed to be partaking in a conversation with someone but actually is just repeating back parts of his favourite video or game scripts.
Starting school was a big step for him. He had never enjoyed socialising with kids of his own age. One of his only friends during his time at preschool was a little girl with selective mutism, they would communicate through side-by-side play and sometimes holding hands. If things got too much for either one of them, they'd go and sit under a table together. My son often helped his friend communicate in ways she felt unable to and the same for her. It was lovely seeing his potential for friendship back then and that has definitely blossomed since starting school.
Along with these positive steps forward, comes a lot of baggage for a five and a half year old to carry around. He wants to make friends, build relationships and form bonds with peers but alongside this he is starting to realise that he processes certain things in different ways and sometimes behaves and feels differently to most of his friends. He is an intelligent lad and with our support using social stories, visual aids, child-led activities and positive reinforcements over the past 18 months he has been able to bring his social functioning up and reduce some of his anxieties down. During school he wants to fit in, so he 'masks' some of his neurodiverse behaviours. At home he vocally tics. A LOT. If he's concentrating, talking to you, listening to you, watching something, reading something... in any break or chance he gets, he is usually humming, grunting or clearing his throat. He repeats things and motions a lot. He also flaps his arms regularly when he experiences stronger emotions. However at school he doesn't tend to do these things. I've never really spoken to him about this at length as if you try to talk to him about a subject he doesn't want to speak about then it can be a very distressing situation but just recently he's been bringing it up himself.
He spoke about his humming on the way to school a few days ago, expressing to me that he enjoys it as it makes him feel happy and safe but he doesn't feel like he wants to do it at school because:
It's not something that normal humans do, mummy.
I can't lie. It broke my heart to hear him even slightly think he has to change how he is because what he wants to do isn't 'normal'. It was really hard to talk to him about this as his parent - as in a way, he's also right even though his chosen words or terminologies (due to being small) are incorrect. To some extent we all have to curb aspects of our personalities to be able to function within society's demands - this shouldn't be for anyone else, it should be for us alone. Just because he has Autism, shouldn't mean that he doesn't have to do that too or that it is bad to want to do that. At the same time I want him to know that there may be things he wants to control or curb but can't and that's fine too. I want him to learn about his Autism and how things affect him if he wants to, and to live his life how HE chooses to do so.
It's really difficult to talk to a 5 and a half year old about stuff like this when a lot of the time their little life views (especially my son) are very black and white. How do I explain what Autism is? How do I explain that some of his behaviours are neurodiverse but that's not a bad thing... but that if he wants to work at changing some of those behaviours then that's ok... but if he doesn't want to then that's ok, too. It's confusing for me to think about let alone for a small boy who's world usually revolves around things being yes or no, real or pretend, good and bad...
So I guess I don't really have an actual point with this post today, only that this is one of the many things that as a parent of a child with Autism i'm having to face unprepared and blindly. I'm guessing there will be many more along the way, too. I will never know how it feels to be him but I do know that I want him to feel 100% supported and loved by me whatever he's feeling, whatever he is going through and however he chooses to live his life.
Do you have a child/children with Autism? Do you have any tips to share for talking with your children about their Autism? I'd love to read your comments below.
I'm a few days late again with this week's #hellomakers post, sorry about that! This weekend we had to pick up our very first family car (yay!) and then we celebrated Mother's Day. I was treated with gifts, sweeties and this gorgeous orchid. We also got takeaway pizza - because it's always pizza time here - and had a ton of laughs and jokes just hanging out together as a family.
So, today's post is the last in the March series #hellomakers which was started by the lovely Hannah of Hannah Hand Makes. Please take the time to pop over to her website too see her gorgeous cross stitch creations and kits, as well as her social media links and very own #hellomakers posts, too. Let's crack on with mine...
WHEN? When did you start your business? How has it changed? Would you do anything different if you could?
I started my business in June 2014, I'll soon be celebrating three years which seems crazy! It's a total cliche but it really feels like it's been a lot less time. I think this is because I started quite blindly and was still experimenting with my unique selling point and passions while setting the business up.
My style has changed and evolved a huge amount. When I first started the business I had wanted to use resin but I was scared of it. I had no experience of chemicals, how things worked, how things had to be treated before being preserved etc and for a long time I worked with plated metals and polymer clay as it's where I felt most comfortable. I took pictures with my phone with little to no lighting or editing help and I didn't really know what I was doing with social media.
After playing for a little while with shrink plastic, I got brave and decided to have a play with resin but the results were sketchy to say the least! After painstakingly picking flowers in the field in front of my around high rise flat I tried my best to set them without realising they needed to be dried of every bit of water and wet pollen. They went white and mouldy within days and I was sad.
Time went on and my style evolved. I wanted to present a brand and I wanted my USP to be hand crafted items with resin for the individual and the home. I watched tutorials, read countless articles, experimented and practised my butt off until I was finally able to relax and feel confident in working with resin and the new path Spotlesspinata Jewellery was taking. I worked tirelessly on product photography and graphics, I researched to get and make the most secure and on point brand packaging and put a big effort into social media. I feel as I approach my three year anniversary trading as a small business that I'm really happy with the direction I have taken things. I am always trying to evolve and branch out into new and exciting things such as my recent Evermore keepsake memorial range and using Sterling Silver components a lot more. The only thing I'd change in the past would be to take the leap and start my business sooner and also to trust myself more to experiment with things which were (at the time) out of my comfort zone.
I hope you've enjoyed this more detailed glimpse into my work and home life, which are tightly woven together, over this past month. Thanks again to Hannah for inspiring me to join in with this meet the maker style hashtag. I hope to see some of you over on my website or social media spots soon! Now, what should I write about next week?!
Happy Sunday! I have an apology to make - I missed last Sunday's #hellomakers blog as I've been very poorly with a perforated eardrum and infection. I've decided to be a sneaky cheat and combine last week's and today's posts into one. Lets start with 'why?'
WHY? Why do you do what you do? Where does your motivation come from?
I've always had a passion for accessories. I adored collecting jewellery as a little girl and loved being able to express my own little quirks and interests through jewellery. As I got older, I really enjoyed experimenting with making my own pieces from wire and household objects such as safety pins and buttons. At 17 I started to train as a body piercer as well as dabbling in body modifications on myself, which indulged me love for jewellery even more. After the birth of my first child I started working as a visual merchandiser for a jewellery company who sell on stands in large supermarkets. Being around other people's jewellery every day made me wish I could design my own! I saw very cheap mass produced items and very expensive custom items every day but I wanted to bring unique and custom ideas which I was passionate about to everyone, at affordable prices.
After the birth of my second son, my physical health took a bad turn. There are plenty of posts to look back on if you'd like to find out more but I basically became unable to work an average job. I still felt the need to create and to contribute to my family's income as I always have. I decided feeling how I felt, that this could be the perfect opportunity for me to take the plunge and start my own business, as I had been itching to do for years! My health has brought many sad and difficult times over these past 6 years however it was most definitely the catalyst for pushing me to take the first step in building my brand and for that, I'll always be thankful.
Moving on to 'where'?
WHERE? Where do you work? At home? A studio?
I work at home, predominantly in my kitchen! I have a glass table by a large window which is where I make all of my pieces. It's fantastic for natural light and reflecting light back into my work. My table is scarred with resin spills and drill holes and usually has 4 or more projects on it at one time but It's my space and I love it. I recently bought some large storage drawers from Aldi which were an utter bargain and hold all of my findings and charms.
My flowers are kept in containers too, which you can see above on the right (and inside, below). It's a gorgeous smell opening them up each day! It's important for me to try and keep as organised as possible although a naturally unorganised person, this sometimes proves very difficult for me!
I'd love to work from a studio or space one day, or have my own shop. That's always been the ultimate dream. Working from home is fantastic for me as I really get to look after myself and work in the comfortable environment my body and wheelchair needs. I have everything at my fingertips. It comes with a downside for someone like me, and many small business owners, is with everything right there it's often hard to stop. I find myself looking at unfinished projects or pending work at 11pm at night or through dinner time/play time with my kids, wondering if there's a way I can fit one more piece in or finish something off. Its hard to step away.
Regardless of that, I'm extremely blessed to have such a workable situation for my personal circumstances. I'm on hand to get to my youngest son's school whenever he needs me, I can make all of our families health appointments and the sometimes relentless ringing around and chasing up that comes with it all, I can work in as much comfort as my body needs on a day to day basis without having to worry about pain levels, inaccessibility or travel... all while doing something I absolutely love. True #lifegoals
...and so it begins. I have a 9 year age gap between my sons so I had a few glorious parental years where my eldest was pretty much doing homework solo and my youngest was still learning things like rolling over and how to put Thomas trains in a straight line.
Now my youngest is over halfway through his first year at primary school, the suggested homework has started up again. "This time it'll be different, we'll enjoy it!" I desperately try to comfort myself.
My eldest son always hated homework. He had a very limited scope for imaginative work, so creating 5 small sentences with chosen keywords became a marathon through the lava-burning grounds of hell. Back 8 years ago it was less known that homework wasn't actually a compulsory part of school life, nor did I feel confident enough to approach teachers in a pretty unapproachable school to discuss how it wasn't working for my son. I didn't want him to fall behind or have to miss out on his cherished playtime, so we struggled through. Don't get me wrong there were good times as well as bad with homework. As my eldest grew, he always had a passion for his stories ending with the protagonist, or often everyone, dying a usually comedic or utterly surreal death. Should we have found them as funny as we did? Probably not but we're a bit dark like that.
So most parents, whether you choose to educate your child in a school setting, home setting or completely un-school will probably know the struggle of trying to encourage a child to engage in an activity they just do not want to do at that time. In my personal experience, all homework (and really, any activity that isn't a video game, YouTube or a pretend play about Mario, Sonic or Minecraft) falls into that category for us, no matter how much you think as their parent they might enjoy and benefit from it.
Our homework today was to bake some biscuits. YES! I've got it easy here! Or so I thought... Surely he'd enjoy this? Cracking eggs, spooning sugar, whisking and getting gloopy - plus of course the delicious eating after watching our golden brown Jammy Drops baking to perfection through the warm-lit glass oven door.
Things started well before we, you know, actually did anything...
...until he really didn't want to wash his hands. Or dry them. And then refused to stand anywhere but the kitchen counter. Eventually we settled on him sitting safely next to me but that brought it's own problems as he couldn't reach anything that he wanted to do and when he could reach it, he didn't want it after all.
He wanted to put the butter in the bowl. The butter was gross and slimy. "Why did you make ME put the butter in the bowl, mummy?"
He wanted to sieve the flour into the bowl. The flour made his eyes hurt. "Why did you make me do that mummy, it goe'd in my eyes! This is rubbish."
The whisk was too loud and 'bits' went on him.
I couldn't stir with the wooden spoon as that was his drum stick.
He wanted a drink.
He wanted a snack. (This IS your snack, dude!)
He wanted to play Lego.
I finally wrestled the balls of uncooked biscuit in to the fridge with one hand, the other brushing away the very persistent 'bits' off of my youngest and grabbing him before he threw himself off the side in a last ditch attempt to escape to the living room to ask for more snacks.
Fifteen minutes of baking prep had turned into a headache-enduing frustration fest on both our sides which felt like it lasted hours. I knew I'd lost all hope of re-engaging him when I had to chill the mix for 10 minutes before popping the jam in and bunging them in the oven to cook but instead of getting majorly stressed by his lack of enjoyment and total disinterest in our homework baking bonding session, I decided to let it gooooooo, let it gooooo.
I added jam and baked them to golden brown loveliness myself, while my little man played Lego with daddy.
I can feel the homework cog ticking away as year one approaches, increasing the pressure and decreasing the time until we are expected to make sentences with keywords and develop original and imaginative stories just like 8 years ago with my eldest but I think this time round I've learned to be more chilled with it. I will still strive to achieve the tasks we're set and we're both going to hate it at times but I look forward to the good times too. I am more knowledgeable around education, expectations and more confident in myself to step in and express if something is just too much for my youngest.
Most clouds, even stressful dark crappy homework ones, have a silver lining. Ours today was consuming these and having my little man say they were delicious... and of course that he did all of the hard work.
Wow, Sunday rolled around quick this week here in our house. I'm back again to bring you my second post in the #hellomakers March challenge and this week the theme is :
I've always wanted, actually needed, to create. Without the vent of mentally thinking of ideas and physically creating them I feel extremely frustrated. With my health and mobility having taken a turn for the worse and my youngest son going through ASD diagnosis, a return back to the traditional world of work was no longer viable for me or my family. After research, worry... a LOT of worry... saving, more researching, some panic and some testing I decided to take the plunge and launch my own business around my lifelong passion of jewellery and accessories. That was three years ago and here I am today, happy, confident with my ranges and so glad I took that first step.
I start my working day off here. This corner of the kitchen is mine. I am lucky enough to have a huge swathe of natural light practically all day and a 3rd floor view over Penge and Beckenham to inspire me for my nature and colour collections. I am also lucky to be able to pick and choose my working hours to fit in around my youngest son's school drop-off and pick-up hours and any hospital appointments we may have. And there have been a LOT of those over these past few years. I tend to work in shorter bursts, giving myself time to rest my body or gently complete physio in between resin pours and construction of jewellery. Plus, you know, Netflix.
Here are some current pieces on my work table, taken this morning. I'm working on a gorgeous custom sterling silver piece, some galaxy style pendants, some special mother's day pendants and two more orbs in an ice and fire theme. I'm currently done for today as these need to cure for me to add the final details and a second resin pour to finish them tomorrow. I tend to stay away from a strict Monday-Friday routine as a lot of my orders or market events come in or happen over the weekend.
Another large part of my day is devoted to packaging up each piece and parcelling them up for posting. A strong brand representation has always been important to me, as is a feel of luxury. I wanted my customers to know it was a Spotlesspinata piece coming through their door and to feel that pang of excitement and luxury when opening their parcel. I use a wonderful business called Neoito Creative to help me bring my ideas of packaging to life. Laura also designs a wealth of stationary for every aspect of your business and home life. My personal packaging obsession is Washi tape. I have a bit of a collection and I try to match the tape on the outside of each parcel to each individual person's order. Why? Well, it makes me smile and that's very important.
I've recently added keepsake memorial pieces, prints and homewares alongside my jewellery collection, all inspired by my signature real flower style, so every working day has the possibility of being quite different to the next. I absolutely love what I do and am so thankful for the ability to be able to bring my customers unique products that I also genuinely adore myself.
Whether it's a small pair of silver plated earrings or a large complicated order using a customer's personal specifications, I strive for perfection and attention to detail every time. I love each piece I make and feel sincerely happy when my pieces are 're-homed', especially when I'm sent pictures by happy customers wearing or using their items purchased from me. It makes my day.
I hope you enjoyed reading my 'What?' post, next week I'll be talking about 'Why?', so if you'd like to find out more, I'll see you next week!
Who is Julie?
30 something, mother of two gorgeous boys, lover of one gorgeous husband, perpetually living in a dream world full of wine, chocolate and artsy crafty things.